Every situation is different and every individual is unique.

Perceptions Matter

Lets get personal...

It does not matter what job you do, everyone needs to have a certain amount of resilience to be able to handle the pressure of work these days. From a cashier to CEO of a major company, being mentally healthy is so important because it manages all the things we do.

Throughout this article there are several hints, tips and strategies that we hope will be helpful and give direction to address difficult situations.

For the past 12 months, Personal Attributes has been running training workshops about resilience in the workforce. The training is specifically tailored to the clients industry. However there is one part that remains consistent for all and that is the focus on personality verses behaviour. In this section of the workshop, the participants are encouraged to explore the difference between personalities and behaviours, and how they experience these in the workplace.

To keep it simple, Personal Attributes believes an individual’s personality is consistently reflected in their actions. In other words, mannerisms become more predictable. On the other hand, behaviour can be inconsistent and have irregular actions that are influenced by a person’s current mood. It is easier to correspond with and work alongside a person whose actions are consistent than a person who is erratic. When we are not sure if our colleague is going to be Mr or Ms Grumpy or Mr or Ms Spontaneous, then it can become a very overwhelming environment to work in.

It is easier to build resilience in the workplace when our colleague’s actions are consistent. If it is their personality that is harsh, demeaning and rude, and this is consistent from day to day and person to person, then it becomes easier to anticipate the person’s actions. When we anticipate our colleague’s actions, we can better learn to deal with their behaviour. This does not make the persons demeaning or rude actions excusable, but simply can provide colleagues with easier coping techniques to create resilience.

When a person’s behaviour is erratic, it makes it harder to build resilience. If we can’t tell what sort of a mood our colleague is going to be in from one day to the next, it puts us on edge and causes us to start walking around on eggs shells. Work colleagues whose actions are unpredictable can become dangerous, and often exhibit bullying behaviours. If specific colleagues are treated differently to others, then this erratic behaviour is not simply their personality at play. It is the person’s choice to treat people differently, and to exhibit these bullying behaviours. Inconsistencies are what cause the majority of problems. We cannot predict a person’s mood, and if we have a colleague whose moods highly influence their actions, it becomes uncomfortable in the workplace. Productivity drops because we lose focus on what we are suppose to be doing and start worrying about how we are going to be treated by this erratic person next.

So how do we deal with this constant unpredictability?

It’s not easy. If it were then we would not be discussing and learning how to address bullying in the workplace. It would not be made a focus point at “Bullying Conferences”; there would be no cause for concern with absenteeism, presenteeism, mental health break downs or high staff turnover. The workplace would run a lot smoother if employees just learned to get on and work side by side to achieve their outcomes. We are not saying that everyone has to be warm and a fuzzy friend, as that is not realistic, but we should be allowed to have our say and agree, or agree to disagree, and move on.

A way we can begin to deal with constant unpredictability of a colleague is, first we need to know our self. We need to be mindful of our own body language, tone of voice and words. We can do a self evaluation to ensure we are consistent in our behaviour and not giving them reason to react in this unpredictable way. Once we have done this we can then challenge their behaviour. For example, if Mr or Ms Unpredictable is angry yet again and they are releasing their verbal abuse, let them know that you can see that they are angry because of the way they are yelling at you or throwing things around the office and ask them why. We do not advise asking the person to calm down as this can often trigger further release of anger. Being confident to point out a person’s behaviour is scary, but not as scary as their constant unpredictability. Using the phrase “I can see you are... frustrated, sad, ignoring me, etc” we are letting the other person know that there is something wrong and we would like to know what. If you speak up when situations occur, a lot of the tension can be diffused and may prevent things escalating.

There is no quick fix to change the behaviour of Mr or Ms Unpredictable; they too need to be mindful of their body language, tone of voice and words they choose. If their erratic behaviour continues in the form of bullying, don’t give up. We need to continue to challenge their actions. It is much nicer to believe at the start that they may simply not understand that their behaviour is inappropriate and by challenging we may be helping to educate them. Should the person not engage in attempts at resolving the situation when they occur, it is important that we let the appropriate people in our workforce know or alternatively if this is not possible, seek outside assistance so we can both (victim and perpetrator) receive the support and help needed before we both become a statistic of bullying in the workplace.

It is of belief that we cannot change personalities but we can change behaviours, Personal Attributes agrees with this. We hope you have been able to take some positives out of our articles on bullying, if you have missed any they are on our website www.personalattributes.com.au. If you want to build a mentally healthy workforce you just need to ask us for our help and guidance.

Next month we look forward to presenting something new, so stay connected as Perceptions Matter!