Heart pounding, muscles tense, tummy churning, tears may flow.

Let’s get Personal...

Last month we wrote about constant abrupt communication by a work colleague or colleagues. As promised, Personal Attributes will pass on three of their techniques on how you can deal with this type of bullying.

Without becoming a bully, there are ways to respectfully challenge abrupt behaviour no matter what business hierarchy level the perpetrator is. Like with all forms of education and learning, the more we practice skills and techniques, the more confident and better we become. Your heart is pounding, your muscles are tense, your tummy is churning, and you are barely holding back your tears. But you also know that this abrupt communication needs to stop - the angry words, the tone of voice, the aggressive body gestures or all of these mixed throughout the working day need to stop if you are going to be productive in your job.

When applying the techniques to help you address abrupt communication in the workplace, you need to be mindful of your own emotions and behaviour. You need to go through your own checklist because it will be natural for you to feel nervous and anxious if you decide to respectfully challenge a person about their abrupt behaviour. The checklist Personal Attributes reinforces is: 1) be mindful of your words, 2) be mindful of your tone of voice and 3) be mindful of your own body language. Words, tone of voice and body language all complement each other or they can destroy each other.

Some of the techniques Personal Attributes includes in their training are based on their “Keep it Simple Principles” KISP©”. Workplaces are busy so applying simple communication techniques to challenge and defuse abrupt behaviour is far more favourable than to do nothing at all. Bullying in the workplace is spiraling out of control and being proactive in prevention of mental health breakdown is the key for making change to workplace environments. Personal Attributes is not saying that challenging another is easy, or the techniques they reinforce are new, however it is their conscious effort in building resilience and restoring self confidence in those who have been affected.

Here are the three techniques for you to explore:

Technique 1: Respectfully challenging someone’s tone of voice.

• Go through your mindful check list

• As calm as you can, because your adrenalin will be racing, ask this question making sure you use the perpetrators name

“Are you okay (name) because you sound really frustrated and angry.”

Technique 2: Respectfully challenging someone’s words.

• Go through your mindful check list

• Again, try to remain calm because challenging can be frightening

• Always use the perpetrators name to ensure you have their attention when asking this question

“That’s interesting (name) Can I ask why would you say that?”

Technique 3: Respectfully challenging body gestures

• Go through your mindful check list

• Using the perpetrators name, calmly ask this question

“Are you okay (name) because you look frustrated and angry?”

These challenges generally instigate a reaction from the perpetrator and controlling your emotions and the urge to run and hide does take courage. Controlling your own emotions is a skill and can be learned. If we are to reduce and stop constant workplace abruptness then we need to learn and gain the courage to speak up and respectfully challenge this form of bullying.

Do you think you could respectfully challenge a colleague’s constant abruptness?

Remember, everyone’s Perceptions Matter!

Next month's article from Personal Attributes will discuss the impact of bullying in the workplace